Daddy delivers fast food

Wife just recovered from one of those every 30 year women surgeries. Brought her home and everything would have been great accept my wife and I both got stomach flu and too weak to make it to the bathroom. Once past the projectile vomiting and accusation that I was the one that got her sick and about killed her after her surgery she was ready for some fast food.

6:00pm send me out to Wendys
6:10pm in drive through
6:11pm wife calls to ask where am I and to make sure I have sweet and sour sauce
6:15pm Order food with sweet & sour
6:16pm drive off with food
6:17pm realizes the sweet & sour is not in the bag
6:22pm back at the window and ask for 6 packs, he drops in 1, I say 6 plz, so hedrops 2 more in, I stare at him holding my hand of 6 fingers and he drops 2 more in. Close enough, damn kids cant count anymore
6:23 wife calls to say forget getting her pizza and just bring the food back for the little ones as they are now starving
6:30 Get home and dispense the food.
6:35 Been listening for 5 min from my wife on how I took to long and now she has nothing to eat. Got her sick and now I am trying to starve her to death.
6:45 Stomach flu victim number 4 my 18yr daughter comes in and says she is hungry. I said what is the point if you will spew 5min after you eat. Wife gives me the look so off I am again.
7:00 After talking up the Super Supreme Crunch I get my wife to agree to let me get that for her
7:04 Wife calls and asks if I am getting along with my daughter
7:20 Supremes in hand we head over to Burger King for the 18 year old
7:30 In line
7:31 Wife calls to ask when are we coming home, sigh
7:40 Order Chicken tenders
7:42 Bill is $2.84 so I give them $3.00 + .10 expecting a quarter + penny back. I look up trying to figure out why she isn’t giving my change back and there is 3 of them trying to figure out the math, I heard guesses from .15 to 50 cents. They gave up and gave me a quarter, probably figured they earned the penny. I guess it is a lost art of counting change back and if there is no computer who would be expected to do arithmetic manually.
7:47 Daughter exclaims these aren’t chicken Tenders, sigh
7:48 Wife calls wanting her food
7:52 back at the counter, Sorry our mistake, the tenders are only 2.18. I said make sure you figure in the tax on the refunded amount, got a funny look, like there is no way in hell we are attempting a math problem as complicated as (Total1 - Total2)*Tax
8:00 back on the Road
8:01 wife calls again, where is my damn food.
8:10 get home and dispense the food.
8:11 I spend time getting the 8yr old ready for bed
8:20 Wife comes out and all I see is the look of “I will cut body parts off of you as you sleep”. What I say. She claims I didn’t buy enough food as the kids ate her food too and she gets nothing. About that time I her the all so familiar hurls from the 18yrs daughter who ate my wife’s food just long enough to get to the bathroom. Sure glad she used my wife’s tooth brush over mine. So after about 2.5 hours of trying to get food to please I still have a wife angry enough at me that I don’t feel safe sleeping with. I will have to double dose her with perceset tonight.
Sigh