Deadiest Insects

So Molly and I were watching Animal Planets episode on deadliest creatures. Graphics are amazing as they showed the fangs going in, poison's affect on the human body organs followed up by a slow agonizing death. There was a scene where this young girl is attack by a spider followed by loud screams and convulsions then a slow death. Show ends then its time for bed, sweet dreams. As she is heading to bed I hear a frantic scream. I come running in and she is frozen with an outreached finger pointing to the wall. She is now repeating frantically, "Kill it daddy, kill it." Sure it enough its a black spider just like the one on TV on the wall, sleeping I believe. As I approach it with the broom, the spider wakes up and realizes that it needs to move quickly. Scurrying for its life it races across the wall with me taking swipes at. Molly in screams of panic says "Its getting away, its getting away" Spider realizes that the open wall is no place to live so it drops to the floor and makes for the safety of our room. It rounds the corner but is slowed up by a shoe. With one more chance for the kill I get him with the broom followed by a quick stomp of the shoe. Molly asks in a trembling voice, "Did you get it daddy, is it dead???" Now the obvious answer would have been Yes but no I had to play it out as follows. I scream its getting away and start thumping my foot as I race toward Molly room. Molly freaks as she sees my stomping into her room. I give a few more futile stomps then emerge from her room. She asks doubtingly "did you kill it" I respond with a "sure?" She screams "you didn't kill it I know because why were you still stomping in my room??" I said because I was just messing with you. Damage is done, she is now scream/crying that she can't live in the house because she saw what the spider did to the girl on TV. Compromise was she could sleep with us until she felt safe. Lucky for me it was only 3 weeks until she actually forgot why she was sleeping in our bed. sigh

3 Spills and ur out

There is a tradition with my wife. I do a professional clean on the car including shampooing the carpets and she will christen the upholstery with a spilled drink. Drinks are spilled within the first 24hrs then not again until the carpets are cleaned, those are her rules. So on our trip to CO the first drink was spilled middle row of the van while I was pulling out of the gas station, my fault, I did accelerate. 2hrs was later as we were stopping for the next gas station, drink went all over front including my shoe and leg, my fault, I did use the brakes. So as she refilled her drink once again and as we were about to pull out, I looked at her and made the comment of "you still have the back row to spill your drink yet." I get the look of "this drink is so going all over you." I quickly reminder that she was holding a new drink and not an old drink, a moment later she lowered her drink commenting that I was damn lucky her new drink was not worth using on me. If it had been a 30 min drink, the outcome could have been more blog material. Geezzz, women are so sensitive, sigh