5yr old gets his first Motorcycle

Well I was running out of material for the blog so the Uncle obligated and bought my 5yr old a 50cc motorcycle. I wasn't there but the incident was reported as follows. The boy was out in the Uncle's backyard riding around getting the hang of things for the past hour. Uncle looked away for 5 sec giving my boy the chance he was looking for, the jump. Adjoining the yards there is a 5 foot rock wall cliff. With throttle wide open and a determined look on his face he raced toward the jump. All the Aunt saw from the window was her husband streaking across the backyard with my 8yr daughter screaming the boys name. Being a doctor and all she felt compelled to go assess the situation. It was like an Evil Knievel stunt gone bad. Apparently he got sideways on the approach and slid down the rock face gouging the helmet on the way down but luckily his head stopped his fall. Once again he cheats the ER and avoids a visit. A little shaken but he was ready again. Uncle voted next time it was going to be in a big pasture with no cliffs. All I can say to my sister now if I am ever criticized on my child care is “well at least I didn’t let them drive off a cliff.”

Do it yourself home kit

Warning, this post is a graphical and is not for faint of heart but the story must be told to warn others.

So there I was sitting down on the throne and enjoying 5min of rare peace while I read the paper. After about 30 sec. of enjoyment I started to notice a tinkling sensation from the boys down below. Another 30 sec went by and it became more of a burning sensation, like 5 hundred fire ants biting. This quickly went from ants to "I am on fire". As I rocketed off the seat I noticed the boys were covered in a blue foam, like the stuff you use to clean the toilet. I raced to the sink and hoisted them in and frantically try spraying them off. It took 10 min of continuous running water to finally kill off the pain. Somewhere during the screams and the spraying my wife yells through the door "Don't use the toilet, I am cleaning it" And here I spent all that money on my procedure at the doctors office a couple of years ago when I could have so easily used the home kit method for chemical castration.
Sigh