Duke the Dog Pisser

Today my lab Duke was getting a bad rap. All day long the wife kept complaining that he was marking his territory and I needed to clean it up. The list was growing by the hour as the number of spots he had marked was approaching 20. By late afternoon the wife who was sitting at the dining table said, “Oh my god he did it the dining room” Exasperated by all the unsubstantiated claims I bent down to sniff, nothing. I remembered the first spot was the end of the bed. I asked the wife did by chance were your slacks at the end of the bed. Why yes they were my wife exclaimed. In the same breath she screamed in realization “Argghhhh I have been wearing dog piss pants all day long.” I almost thought aloud “Get any weird looks at the grocery store today?” But had I, I wouldn’t be here to write this.