Didn't know a car would start while in 1st gear

I am coming down the driveway for the evening paper when I noticed Joe walking toward me, gaping hole in front bumper of car and a pile of bricks from the mail box. First thing he says is “Dad guess what happened?” My response was yes I have brick glue and no you can not buff that out. Sigh

Math Photographic Memory

It was another typical night of father son doing math homework. These were cherished times to remember. These were particularly time consuming problems that I was working up on the white board. They were 12 problems of solving simultaneous equations. After 90min of work I come back from the board to see how Joe was doing only to see no work written down for the last 90 min. I asked WTF, response was something about he thought I would write it down later. Ya like I have photographic memory! 2hrs later at 1:30am I’m finally done re doing all the work again. Sigh

X-mas Lights Bulls eye

It was time for the yearly hang X-mas lights. I did the standard 60 min of untangling the previous year lights. Being outside I didn’t want one of the kids running over the lights so I neatly wound them up like a garden hose. As I was coming back out of the garage I hear Gunnar yells to his friend “hey watch this” as he launches his kick ball in the sky. I will have to give him 10 for form, 10 for height and 10 for accuracy for hitting the coiled lights dead center. Sigh

Frebreez is not BBQ Sauce

I come home starving for dinner only to find the wife grilling chicken breasts in Curlys hickory smoked BBQ sauce. They are to die for on a toasted bun with sharp shedder cheese. I stand guarding these beauties until I hear the words of “Honey please fix up the sandwiches” No problem, I scoop up the chicken and start preparing the sandwiches. As it is no one is standing in line so the first one has my name on it especially since I probably lost 3 pounds while waiting. As I am making my sandwich instead of smelling the once sweet hickory BBQ I smell more of clothes freshener. I fight off the odd smell coming from my taste of heaven and layer on the cheese. Once again the smell starts to smell much stronger like Frebreez. I sniff my shirt cuff which seems to be the source of freshnes since BBQ doesn’t taste like Frebreeze. Sandwich complete. I took a big bite of heaven only to be met with an initial strong taste of Frebreeze. I fight through the Frebreeze taste looking for the BBQ taste. Finally I release, my lips are on fire, my eyes are watering. I spit the sandwich out and start splashing water all over my face. I look at my wife with swollen red lips and said WTF. Apparently when I installed the new Frebreez air freshener which is about 100 times more concentrated then normal Frebreeze, I installed it upside down which soaked a sponge and tongs. The sponge was used on the cutting board and the tongs were used to remove the meat. I just stood there looking at my once proud sandwich in the sink bubbling with foam as I washed it down the drain. Wife hands be a bag of carrots and says here’s supper. Sigh